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Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
The day I can get a correct order at a fast food establishment is the day I will support an increase in minimum wage.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked , "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "kindergarten".
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet