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Quiet people have the loudest minds.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
The police never think its as funny as you do.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Hush little laptop don`t you cry,mumma gonna find you some more wifi.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
I only say "bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume it didn`t take and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.