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You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
They say if the palm of your hand itches, you`re going to get something. And if your crouch itches, you`ve already got it.
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
I think my "check engine" light has finally burned out. So that`s good.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
You don`t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.