Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I`ll start a text with "lol" if it might be a sensitive subject. Like, "lol it`d be cool if you moved out."
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
There are two ways to go about arguing with a woman and neither one works.
Non alcohilic beer, for people who like to pee but hate that annoying buzz.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
You`re the reason why I believe in condoms.
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
Some of the best memories I have are of times right before the cops showed up.
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.