Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
I made a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number one: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes? Hurt like hell.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Basketball would be a lot more exciting if each team was allowed one bear.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
I will never admit to my parents that I don’t believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa as long as I still get presents and candy.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
Don`t be sad if you didn`t get a Valentine`s Day gift, lt`s not the end of the world. That`s still ten months away.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached