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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
Three things Iām thankful for this time of year: Family, Friends, and Caller ID to avoid family and friends
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.