Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
I think, therefore i`m single.
Mondays are middle finger approved
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
I don`t have a drinking problem........I just celebrate everything!!! Like the fact that I have pants on, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.