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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.