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Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
If I told you I loved you, would you believe me or just stand there freaking out about me being in your closet?
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
When I say "It’s a long story" It usually means I just don’t want to tell you it.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
I`ve been taking viagara for my sunburn........ It doesn`t cure it...... but it does keep the sheets off my legs at night.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
The only time I`ve ever used sex to get what I want is when I want sex.
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"