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Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Sometimes getting unfriended on Facebook is magical....really....it`s like the trash took itself out.
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
Orange Hi-C counts as a serving of fruit, right?
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
High-five a veteran today.
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
Next time you`re down in the dumps...pick me up a spare tire!