Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Setting my coffee maker to `stun`
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m an apple.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
I was so angry when I found my wife’s profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn’t “fun to be around.”
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.