Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
Is it bad that "WINE" is always on my grocery list? At the top? In all caps?
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
I don’t mean to brag but when I’m at the Taco Bell drive thru placing my order, I don’t even look at the prices.
I live in a madhouse, ruled by a tiny army, that I made myself
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
DO NOT expect a "Bless You" after your 3rd sneeze. Get that sh!t under control.