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You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
One day I`ll look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.