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A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness