Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
There are a thousand better ways to spend your time and yet here you are with me.
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.