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This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.