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Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
β€œBe yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/