Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Vodka is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you`ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/