Daily Silly Status

I bet anyone who`s had to fight a bear has snuck at least one hug in

I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.

Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?

This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."

Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.

I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce

My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.

Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.

I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"

I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!

Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.

In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon

I don`t get my neighbor. tells me to make my self at home but then gets pissed off when they come into the kitchen and I`m in my underwear making a sandwich.