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If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
Long story short, I love summaries.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Being the fat guy at McDonald`s is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective