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www.amish.com. How did this happen?
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
Whenever someone tries to get too friendly with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to remind them of where we stand.
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
Of course bears sh!t in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Side effects of telling your wife to get a grip may include throat bruising or testicular swelling.
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.