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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
I still know what you did last summer........... cos you posted it on facebook!
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
I`m a multi-taking procrastinator. I can put off all kinds of things all at once.
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait… Regular or Asian?
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson