Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
Last night I got drunk and ate 3 tennis balls by mistake, f*ck you Pringle`s.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour, teach him how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.