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I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
How long does it take to get obsessed?