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Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Your a$$ must be jealous everytime sh*t comes out of your mouth.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”