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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.