Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
My safe word is "Make sure we don`t go over the hour. That`s all the cash I got on me."
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing… Unless you’re at a funeral.
I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won`t let me use their microwave.