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Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
Where did Noah keep his bees? ... In the ark hives ... Yes, I`m showing myself out, thanks
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
In honor of this years` Super Bowl participants respective States of residence, they`ve changed kickoff to 4:20 Eastern Standard time.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?