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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.