Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
Y`all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.