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All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
I was way too drunk last night to drive home. So I drove to another party.
This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she`s never broken a lawnmower before.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking