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Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
The symptoms of Ebola are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea and stomach pains. Kind of like when I see my wife going thru my phone.
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.