Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
The cashier at the dollar store told me to have a good day. Like my purchase of shelf liner suggested any other plan.
I wish I had a friend like me
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
I know the light has changed twice people but I`m playing air drums until Moby Dick is over...sit back and enjoy the show please...
Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it`s voice activated. I`m at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.