Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t let the door hit you on the way out ... Hell, who am I kidding, I hope it hits you and knocks you down the f*cking stairs.
I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Didn`t have to do much to end my last relationship...she first told me that "opposites attract"...then a couple of days later she told me i was handsome, kind, smart, funny and loving...
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.