Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
Texting while sitting at a stop light: Helping save lives every day by preventing T-bone collisions with drivers who run red lights. Because of that extra minute it takes for you to realize that the light has turned green, the driver who has no regard for the safety of others entering the intersection legally, can now safely clear the intersection without causing a collision. For this, we thank you.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.