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Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
The joy of finding out that your boss is going on a holiday is way greater than you yourself going on one
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
I remember when vodka was just vodka flavored ...
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
High fiving was the original "like".
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.