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Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.