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I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
Guys that try to pick up girls on facebook are pathetic. Girls if you agree, message me your number so we can talk about it.
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
Instead of `What`s on your mind?` Facebook should say `Just relax on the couch and tell me all about your problems. Don`t worry, nobody will know`..
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.