Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
Well, one week smoke free, only 4 dead, 27 injured… not bad…
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."