Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Just found a hole in my sock and now I`m worried that the whole drawer might be pregnant.
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
That awkward moment when you tell your parents something funny, but it turns into a life lesson.
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
The cop at your front door is never a stripper when you want them to be.
Im really not just some idiot with nothing better to do with my time, I just play one in FB.
Just killed a cricket at work, and, long story short, I`m now being asked to audition for Riverdance.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!