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I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
I was in a taxi and the driver said "I love my job. I`m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That`s really great, now take a left here."
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
I Got so Drunk Last Night ,.I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETITION...!!
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)