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Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
Don`t believe everything you think.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.
“I don’t watch TV” proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.
Just because she weighed as much as two women doesn`t mean you had a threesome