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Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I`ve learned that I don`t need to use so many paper towels, and they`re expensive.
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Who ever says "words can`t hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary.