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Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
Dear Santa: My sister is the "naughty" one ... trust me.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.