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If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Laxatives............for people who don`t give a crap.
I ran out of coffee this morning, whisky seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today.
My inflatable girlfriend always looks surprised when I walk into the room.
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
Holy sh*t! Did you guys know Facebook has a "sign out" button?
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.