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Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
I was having breakfast at a friend`s house and she said "How do you take your coffee?" I said "Very seriously."
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?