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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
The only 2 things that I love and enjoy about being an adult is having sex and drinking alcohol.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
How long does it take to get obsessed?