Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re bored, wear a cape. Then you can be Super Bored
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
“Was that lightning?” “No no…. they’re taking pictures for Google Earth..”
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn`t for any religious reasons. They couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Fun Fact about me: The drunker I get, the more karate I know.
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?
My flock of sheep were stolen from my farm last month. I`ve not been able to sleep since.
Nothing embarrasses a psychic more that throwing them a surprise party.