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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
I thought the movie `fast & furious` was about my sex life. I`m fast, my wife is furious.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Bless me Father for I hit send.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused