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Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers make any f*cking sense.
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.