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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride