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Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
You are here: X
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
The reason why women will never be the ones to propose is because as soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants