Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Wow.. I didn`t know spandex could hold that much.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don’t even know what that means but now I’m hungry.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
It`s always the darkest before dawn. So if you are going to steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s the best time to do it.
The Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria`s secret around the house.
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup, and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever
A friend suggested I see a therapist but the truth is, I like being f*cked up.