Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
If your girlfriend claims to never look at your Facebook profile, change your status to "single" and wait 5 minutes.
I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.
thinks that drinking beer is the second-most satisfying thing a guy can do for himself with one hand.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
How long do I have to stand in front of the microwave for to become a member of X-Men?
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hell fire and hypothermia.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.