Daily Silly Status

What do you call a guy who makes "Woman in the Kitchen" jokes? Single.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.

Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it

I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!

I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P

I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.

Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.

You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas

I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.

I just accidentally opened the door for a Jehovah`s Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away.

My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.

I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?

Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.

I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss.